New Year, New Goals! Perspectives for 2024

Susan and Whittney set their intentions for 2024 and discuss their goals, one-word themes, and plans for what they want to accomplish this year. 

Website: susanandwhittney.buzzsprout.com
Instagram: @susanandwhittney
Facebook: The Conversation with Susan and Whittney

Transcript

Susan: 0:32

Whittney, you're the kind of friend who made me tear up with the perfectly selected Christmas gifts from Longwood Gardens, one of our favorite places. When I saw the magnet with my niece and nephew's favorite tree house on it, I lost it. There's something so special about that tree house. I have so many memories of being there with my niece and nephew, so thank you for the very thoughtful gift.

Whittney: 0:50

Sus, and you allowed me to be there with your niece and nephew at their favorite tree house, which I thought was so special. So I'm so glad you liked your present. I had a great time picking it out for you at Longwood Gardens. Sus, I also got a very thoughtful gift from you. You are the kind of friend who gets me a gift that combines two of my favorite things, a nice mug that play pays tribute to my love of reading and of Taylor Swift. And most importantly, it has a straw. I've been enjoying so many chilled beverages in it. and it's, it says swift T-E-A like tea tea and so I can't wait to have some iced tea in it. I have not enjoyed iced tea in it yet, but you know,, more to come.

Susan: 1:29

That's so nice, Whittney. The straw is clutch. You need a straw. I think it's been proven that you do drink more when there's a straw. Just makes it easier.

Whittney: 1:38

Yes.

Susan: 1:38

And Whittney, I heard your little subconscious pun when you said that it plays tribute, like play like Taylor Swift, a musician. I mean, I think it just slipped in. So I did play and play tribute. I think both

Whittney: 1:51

I, think you're think, I was channeling you there the present from you so. it was

Susan: 1:57

There you go. Well, I'm glad you like it. So Whittney, happy 2024. Welcome to our first episode of season four. Uh,, We pointed out in our last episode of season three that sort of like a little play on words there. It's season four in 2024, so we're excited to be back and I can't believe it's season four. Can you.

Whittney: 2:15

Honestly, we've done this four seasons now, that's crazy. Especially when we were talking about this for so many years before we even got started. It feels like, it just flew by once we got started, so that's so exciting. It's great to be back. Um, I'm excited about what we're gonna talk about in this season, and I hope our listeners are gonna be really excited about it too.

Susan: 2:35

So in today's episode, we're going to discuss our 2024 one-word themes, our new reading goals, and what's going on in our lives lately.

Whittney: 2:43

We're also going to announce what I think is one of the most exciting episodes we have every season, which is this season's book club read with Devin Hamilton, your sister. It's gonna be our second episode of the season and we're already pretty excited for it. I

Susan: 3:00

Yes, definitely. So we'll talk about that a little bit later on in today's show. But first, let's talk about how we're surviving and thriving. How is 2024 going so far? What's going on in your life in new Hampshire?

Whittney: 3:11

Thanks! I'm really excited to be back home in New Hampshire, for a little while. I had a lot of holiday travel and some work travel and you know,, it's just so nice to start getting back into my normal routines again. And I think one thing I would say that I'm realizing recently that's working for me is, I'm gonna call it the power of reflection. So normally at the beginning of a new year, Nate and I review our goals from 2023 and we talk about, you know, what our goals for 2024 would be. But this year because there were, there was a lot of travel, not just for Nate and I, together over the holidays, but then also I had to work travel pretty much immediately at the beginning of the new year. We didn't really get to do that yet. So we're doing a little bit later than normal, but I think it's always helpful to review the past year and what worked and what didn't, and use those insights to help you, make plans for the the coming year. And so that's something that I am leaning into.

Susan: 4:15

When you reflect with Nate, like how do you do that? Is it like a written exercise, you just have a conversation? Do you have sort of a structured way of how you do that, or is it just a free flowing reflection? I'm curious.

Whittney: 4:26

So in the past we would just make our list of goals. We would usually do it on New Year's Day for the coming year. And when we would make our goals, we would also just review what we accomplished from our previous year of goals. And sometimes it was just that simple where we didn't think about anything else. But then we also started realizing that there's a difference between personal goals, like things that I wanna do just for me in the coming year, or he wants to do just for him, and things that intersect for our family or our household. So we also started making a list of house goals. which in general we're not as great with the house goals. So I think one of the insights we're having that keeps coming up is that we need to elicit more help with house goals. Like, we're not gonna renovate our house or anything Like, that. We're not those people and we just need to kind of ask for the help when something needs to be fixed, et cetera. But yeah, so a lot of times it's just like goal review is how it started. But this year, we haven't had more in depth conversations yet. But I wanna kind of go back to like, why, like why do we wanna do this thing? Because I think. Seeing the motive, like understanding why you wanna do something can help motivate you to figure out how to do it. And then, you know how, like being honest with yourself, like, how is this gonna get done? Am I gonna be the person who does this or am I gonna ask for help? Or you know, is there another way we can kind of hack this project so it's not as difficult or it will actually get done. Because there, there have been a couple things on our household goals list in particular that have kind of languished for a few years. And so clearly our approach to them isn't working right. So we have to rethink that.

Susan: 6:16

Yeah, that sounds like a really smart approach. I agree with you. We were talking offline before we started recording about eliciting help for things. I mentioned that I recently put a post out on the Nextdoor app, which is a community message board looking for an affordably priced cleaner who could come to help with some light cleaning, maybe like Twice a month or something. For me, like I'd live in an apartment. I'm by myself. You know, um, so it's not like a massive undertaking necessarily, but for me with having the weekend free of, you know, finally get a day off, I don't wanna spend the whole time cleaning. So I'm looking to have somebody help me out with some of that. And speaking of like these projects that have been on the to-do list for a while, I, I can't tell you the last time I cleaned my microwave on the inside or even like wipe down my fridge. And this is not to say I'm living in like filth or anything. like it's not that bad. There might be like some butter that splash in my popcorn on the inside or like, one time sauce exploded. But it's not really that bad. But I just don't wanna do it, be honest with you.'cause I just don't feel like I have the mental capacity. And I'm sure it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but I'd rather do something else for my life than clean my microwave. Particularly because it's just me. If I was living with other people, I'd probably feel a lot more inclined to wanna get that cleaned up for somebody else really. But I would love to have help with different things like that. And I actually had a lady come the other day to just take a look at my apartment, just to see if that would be a job she'd wanna take on. And I was showing her like all the things I've been putting off. Like I can't tell you the last time I dusted all the baseboards in the apartment. And I'm sure it would take me not that much time, but honestly I just don't really, I'd rather do other things. I'd prioritize other things. So it would be awesome to have someone just do those little projects that I don't have time to do. Think It's a great idea to find people to help you with these things. It just takes that mental load off.

Whittney: 8:02

Yeah.

Susan: 8:02

So I definitely encourage you to do that.

Whittney: 8:04

And I think a lot of times, we feel guilty asking for the help. like we should be able to know how to do this. Like, I know growing up, my parents, basically they did almost everything themselves, right? My dad knew how to fix pretty much everything, from cars to something on the house, or like something needed to be added to the house half the time he built it himself, you know? And so I think that that's a standard secretly I've been holding Nate and I to when that's just not our reality, right? We're not gonna put a porch on a house ever in our lives.

Susan: 8:36

No. No. And you know, you can think of it as supporting the economy, like you're paying somebody to do a service and that, that's helping that person too. You can't do everything yourself, so I definitely support you eliciting help. And that's something I've tried to put at the forefront this year too. Like, there's certain things I've been wanting to do, like even just little paint touch-ups. I probably could do some of those myself, but, um,'cause I actually did paint the apartment myself. But sometimes you do just need to have someone come in and get it done because if it's not happening, there's probably a reason why it's not happening.'cause you just, maybe it's not important to you, it's just too much of a mental load. Whittney, speaking of cleaning, I wanted to give you a shout out because a while ago, not sure if you mentioned it on the podcast, but you mentioned it to me, you had recommended this book, How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis.

Whittney: 9:24

Yes.

Susan: 9:25

I don't know if you've read it,'cause I haven't even checked in with you about this, but recently, like in December, I listened to this book on audio. The author herself reads it. It's maybe only like four hours or so, maybe even three hours. It's pretty short. Um, I found this book really helpful. In fact, I'd like to listen to it again.

Whittney: 9:43

Yeah.

Susan: 9:44

So I wanted to give you a shout out for putting that on my radar. Did you ever read it?

Whittney: 9:48

I did, I still have not read it. It's still in my TBR, but I watch her KC Davis' TikTok videos. She's on TikTok at@domesticblisters. We'll just give her another shout out for that because uh, her TikTok content is pretty solid. But I do use, in one of the TikTok videos, she talks about the five things that are in every room, and so I do use that a lot whenever I'm feeling especially overwhelmed. Is it trash, and dishes, and clothing, and then things that do have a place that you haven't put them in their place, and then things that don't have a place. And so what do you do with the things that don't have a place, right? So every room has those five things. And if you can clear those five things. you're way ahead of where you were and so I use that a lot, but I still haven't read the full book, so I'm glad you liked it.

Susan: 10:36

Yes, and I do recommend the audio. I know you're not so much of an audio person, but it is nice because the author does read it, so it almost feels more like a therapist. She is a therapist, actually, like a. giving you tips. It's not like a heavy lift to listen to this. It's not like you're listening to fiction and have to like, pay super close attention to the plot. It's light listening is what I'm saying. So I feel like you could listen while you're washing dishes or just doing something around the house. It's really helpful having her give you this advice. And her, chapters are very short. It's just very short tidbits. You could just listen to five, 10 minutes at a time. There was definitely some good tips in there that I found really helpful, including running the dishwasher every day. So I'm a person who, since I live by myself, I might not fill up the dishwasher really for like a week. That's the way I used to do it. I would run it maybe like once a week, maybe twice a week. But I'm also a person who never put pots and pans in the dishwasher. I usually chose to hand wash those. In this book, she mentions like, just put everything in the dishwasher, run it once a night. That way you're not having anything build up yes, it's great that I wanted to hand wash my pots and pans, but in reality, that's what was creating clutter in sink. So running the dishwasher every night is something I've started doing, or at least as, you know,, maybe not every night, but maybe every other day, whatever, has really been helpful because now I'm not having all the clutter build up on my counter and sink because I'm waiting for that moment where I'm gonna wash all of them, um, and also you have to unload it right away.

Whittney: 12:00

Yeah.

Susan: 12:01

But really that only takes like two minutes or something. So, um, That has been a very helpful tip. um, The book has a lot of really great things and um, I definitely recommend it, so I recommend it to you as well.

Whittney: 12:13

Yeah. No, I, I was thinking the other day when you were talking about reading it, I think you had sent me a text about it that I was, it was funny'cause I had told you about it and then I didn't even read it yet, which I feel like is classic me.

Susan: 12:25

It's really small. It's easy to take in. There's things you can do right away. And it also helps you to get rid of the stigma or the shame of feeling bad about cleaning or about like, somehow there's, um, like a connection between if your house is messy, you feel like you're a terrible person, or like you said earlier, like, I should be able to do that. There's so much guilt and stigma attached to that. And really she says, you know, throw that away. If you have something on your counter that is not a reflection of you as a person. And I think that was really helpful to think about that stuff like this does not mean that I'm a bad person. I'm, you know, you're not even necessarily a bad housekeeper. Maybe you're just overwhelmed for other reasons. so that was helpful too, just like the stigmas around cleaning. And there was one piece of advice that she said that's been really helpful to me was not everything has to be clean at the same time, which is huge for me because I was always like, oh yeah, now I got the kitchen clean, but now the living room's a mess. Like, I need to straighten that. And it's like, no, maybe not. It's really just the nature of things. Not everything's gonna be perfect, but maybe, you know, one space can look really good. The space is okay for now. Like, Not everything has to be perfect. So it's like letting go of that perfectionism.

Whittney: 13:32

Yes. Well, and I think one of the things that she says all the time is"fill in the blank" is morally neutral. So she'll say like a clean house is morally neutral. You're not morally right or wrong if your house is clean or not clean. Right. And then I think there's something about like home decor she was saying too, like a nicely decorated house, that is morally neutral. Your house can be, you know, not decorated and it's fine and you're still a great person. So I think that's also, I mean, you touched on it, but that's one of the other things that I think helps with that perfectionism is, just calling it out, like these tasks are not morally good or bad. Right. If you do or don't do them, it, it has no bearing on how good of a person you are.

Susan: 14:16

And even just requesting a cleaning person. I said to you before, I was like, well, I just, I have, you know,, a small apartment maybe I shouldn't need help, but you know what, if I want help and I can afford it, then great. Then do it. And that's what KC Davis says in the book too. She's like, if you can afford it, ask for help. Who cares? That will help you out significantly. And I, it would be so nice for me to have someone deep clean my, my house or do like the microwave that I haven't had time to do, and then I can like, maybe do something else during that time. It's, it gives you time back in your life. And yes, you do have to pay for it. But you know what, sometimes using your money for things that are gonna make your life easier is, is, that's the whole point of having money. So you can use it to help yourself or to live a life you wanna live. So, you know, I I don't think I'm gonna mind parting with that money'cause I'd rather, instead of keeping the money and being miserable, why not use it and have an easier time of things.

Whittney: 15:05

Yeah. Well, I think it like kind of ties into what I'm hoping to do for my year, which is kind of going back to that reflection like why, what are my priorities for the year? What are needs my priorities for the year? And do they include doing these tasks ourselves? Because if not, why shouldn't we hire them out?

Susan: 15:24

And along with the decoration idea theme here we were talking about: so a couple of years ago, I decided to redo my deck. I made this awesome nautical theme. I bought rugs. I have cute little nautical decorations hanging from the, um, banisters I guess of the deck. Um, but it's very hard to maintain that decor. And I feel like I bought so many things to make it look really cute. And then I realized I'm the only one that sits out there and no one comes over. And it's a lot for every season to take that stuff down and put it back up. It's great having these Pinteresty visions. And I did get joy out of that space. But sometimes you don't need the decorations, you just need it kind of basic the way it is. Decorations create a lot of clutter, sometimes a lot of extra work.'cause now I kind of am even considering like, do I even wanna have my deck furniture? I don't even sit out there like, is it better just to get rid of it and not have to worry about any of the maintenance? So some, you know, it's sometimes like wanting to have something look really decorated and nice just creates a lot of extra tasks for you. When it could be as simple as just pulling a chair out in the deck and enjoying it instead of having to have it look perfect. For who? For me, but it, you know, I guess the flip side is if I want to maintain that beautiful space, then let's have people over to enjoy it with me so it can be more of an entertainment space versus just like all this extra work.

Whittney: 16:41

Right. Yeah. Well, I think it's kind of like the life you're living versus the life you think you're living? At some points, right? Or like in my head, I am a person who has people over, on the deck a lot. Your vision was I have this cute deck, it's this one and it is a beautiful space. I've seen your deck. Like it is a great space. But you know, if you're not, like you're saying, if you're not regularly inviting people over, then that is just, it's becoming clutter to you. It's becoming kind of a drain on your energy, trying to think about what to do with all this stuff you got for the deck, right?

Susan: 17:15

Oh yeah, it is.

Whittney: 17:16

It's not serving

Susan: 17:17

That's so true, and I actually haven't even sort of taken down my deck yet. This year I have these rugs that go underneath each sitting space, and usually I try to clear that up before the winter so it doesn't get moldy or whatever with all the moisture, well, snow that we don't get, I guess. But I do usually like to clean it up just so it doesn't get ruined throughout the year. But I haven't even done that yet. Um, I just didn't have a full day where I felt like I had the time and energy to clean up the deck, and now it's pretty cold, so I don't feel like going out there. So I might just leave it be, for the winter. But yeah, I am, it's just a lot of extra maintenance that I don't know that I need.

Whittney: 17:54

Yeah. I mean, I understand, Like I was telling you earlier, that this year for Christmas, like I love decorating for Christmas. Like it makes me so happy, like twinkly lights like I'm all about it, right? I couldn't wait to like put my color scheme for my tree up, but taking it all down, wears on me. And so this year, we were gonna be gone for two weeks of our holiday time and we made the decision not to put up outdoor Christmas lights. That felt strange to me because I love seeing the lights when we're outside. Now, when we're outside, it's kind of dark. But you know what? We didn't have to wait until March to take them down because they're covered in snow and ice and they don't work.

Susan: 18:34

Yeah. Well. An alternative could be to have someone do that for you. Actually, my cousin has a lights business in Maryland. He has a construction business, but that's like one of his side things. he will put up lights and take them down as well. I think that it's, it's difficult for us to pay someone to do that,'cause it's like in reality we could do that ourselves. But again, I could, I could do a lot of things and I'm not, so sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and have someone else do it for you. And it would be really, um, take that stress off your plate your plate.

Whittney: 19:06

yeah, it's one of those things that I only recently realized is a business that people pay other people to do. So it's a good reminder that your cousin does that. maybe it is something that regular people and not celebrities can

Susan: 19:19

Oh yeah. And I think it's one of those things that you value. If you love having your house lit up from the outside. Otherwise maybe you could just get something that's an easier fix. Like I've seen some people do, the light projectors on their house or just like some sort of like little light feature on your path or instead of like the whole lights on the house, candles in the windows. That's something you can do from the inside. So there could be solutions.

Whittney: 19:42

Yeah. Actually one of the things, speaking of like figuring out what matters to us, one of our favorite things about Christmas lights outdoors in the winter was that it kind of like lit up our driveway a little bit or lit up the path going into our house. We only really have like one light on the outside of the house. Maybe we need permanent year-round path lighting.

Susan: 20:03

Definitely.

Whittney: 20:04

and you know, that would solve it.

Susan: 20:06

There you go. Whittney not too much exciting happening in Philly right now. Just kind of finishing up the second semester and, um, that's kind of it. I'm, I'm kind of just easing into the new year. I just got over being sick, so, um. That's kind of, that's kind of it for me. But speaking of that, speaking of like the new year and easing into our new things, Do you wanna talk about our new words of the year?

Whittney: 20:29

Yes. I would love to talk about our

Susan: 20:31

Alright, awesome.

Whittney: 20:32

I It took me a while to figure out which specific word I wanted, but I will tell you that my word of the year for 2023 was very helpful in helping me choose my word for 2024

Susan: 20:46

Oh.

Whittney: 20:46

So my word for 2023 was listen. And so I had to listen like, what, what is working, what is not working? What do I wanna do in the coming year? And so overall, one of the things I knew I wanted for my one word theme for 2024 was something that fit the theme of paring things down to what's important. Surprise, surprise, based on our conversation so far today. Right. So I, one of the things that I was thinking about when I was trying to come up with the word is in our world today, there's so much to do. There's so much to think about. There's so much to keep up on. I mean, information is coming at us like a million miles an hour, and there's way more content out there than we can ever take in. It's kind of an impossible undertaking, right? you can't ever keep up with what's happening or everything that's going on. So in the end, what is important to you as a person? What is important to you as a family? because you're not gonna be able to fit it all in. And so I had, a moment of insight. I was watching Bravo, I love Bravo, you know this about me. and there was an episode of Watch What Happens Live, which is the little Bravo talk show where they have all the Bravolebrities on to talk about things. And Andy Cohen

Susan: 22:04

Bravolebrities? Is that a term?

Whittney: 22:07

Yes, Yes, That's what they call celebrities from Bravo. So people who star on Bravo shows are

Susan: 22:13

That's great. I love it.

Whittney: 22:15

Like it's a real term now. You're gonna see it everywhere because I've

Susan: 22:20

Okay, that. And now I know you always keep me in the loop of what's cool, so thank you.

Whittney: 22:26

Anytime. Sus. Anytime. This particular episode was Kevin Hart and they were playing this game. They play games with the people who come on the show. So it's not always Bravolebrities, sometimes it's celebrities who have a new movie coming out or something, in which case Kevin Hart has a new movie coming out on Netflix like very soon or something. and so they played this game called, does Kevin Give a Damn? And it was just Andy asking him questions like about popular topics. So for example, you have to answer give a damn or don't give a damn. Right? An example of a question was, do you care about how public Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's relationship is? And he was like,"no, I don't give a damn." Andy's asking him all these questions about popular topics, everything from pop culture to stuff happening in the news, to stuff happening in Congress, which he did care about some of the things happening in Congress that were affecting legislation. But for most of what they asked him, he just was like,"no, I don't care about that. I do not give a damn about that." And I thought that was kind of powerful because you expect somebody like Kevin Hart to like, you know,, at least pretend he cares about those things, Like on a TV show where he is like promoting something. But like, he was just like no, like I don't, and if Kevin Hart doesn't care and if he's just like, I don't care about any of those things, they're not important to me, Like, what is my issue? So that leads me to the word I chose, which is focus. So I would like to, in the coming year, focus on what's important to me. And I chose the word focus for a couple of reasons, like focus as the term specifically. The first one is ADHDers, which is what we call the group of people who have ADHD. They have trouble regulating focus. I am an ADHDer, or we haven't really talked about this on the podcast yet, but in February of 2022, I was diagnosed with ADHD, in my late thirties. It was kind of an earth-shattering revelation, but also like one of those things that made so much sense and We've talked extensively offline about how, basically everything kind of clicked into place for me once I, I got this diagnosis, but because I naturally have trouble regulating my focus, that's part of managing my ADHD right? is I need to figure out how to put systems in place and how to set up the right routines and the right health stuff so that I can be able to regulate my focus. And then also in general, this plays into my word, right? What do I care about and what am I gonna focus on in the next year? I need to identify those things and then follow through on them. So that was a lot

Susan: 25:11

Yeah, Whittney, I was really focusing on what you were saying. Honestly, I think this is really insightful. It's a great word, and I really can relate to what you were saying. There's so much information being thrown at us, like on your phone, for example. You know, Constantly blowing up with notifications and sometimes that's really great. Finding out something that's going on in the world, maybe particularly something local that impacts your life Right now, it's good to have the access to that, but other times it's very distracting. It's like too much. You're constantly sort switching gears I think our society does make it difficult to focus. There's just so much stimulus and there's absolutely no way that you can consume all that content. Something this made me think of is I saw a social media post about when you get older you realize that diet is not only food, it's anything that you consume from content to the people in your life to just like, even your habits, just what are you putting into your system in any capacity. And I started thinking about that a lot too. Like, you know, what am I putting into my body? Like what am I spending my time looking at? Scrolling, what, what am I watching? It's what are you watching? What are you doing? Who are you with? That's all part of your diet and you do have to control that and put up some guardrails because if you would just let you know, let it go wild, you it just way too much stimulation. So I agree with you about focusing on what matters and maybe that does require you to put up boundaries. You're gonna have to block out certain things or maybe unfollow certain things. I had to do that at some point in time, unfollow various things on social media because I realized that wasn't the healthy diet I wanted. Anyone could relate to it because we're all constantly bombarded it's really an important concept.

Whittney: 26:55

well, and you know, the word focus, I just thought fit so perfectly with both, the ADHD and everything I need to think about to manage that piece of my life. And just in general, what do I prioritize and what am I focusing on and what are my goals and

Susan: 27:11

It is definitely an active word. You actively have to be doing something to focus. It's not just gonna happen. It does require you, like I said, to block certain things out and set certain boundaries that you can focus. So I feel like there is gonna be some work involved in that, but it's definitely a really important, idea to strive toward this year.

Whittney: 27:32

Yes. it's gonna be a huge undertaking, but I'm hoping that it can be kind of a foundation for some things moving forward. So this will be a one word theme for just this year, but maybe I'll take some of it from 2024 and just use it moving forward.

Susan: 27:48

Oh yeah, definitely. I think this sounds really good, Whittney. I love this.

Whittney: 27:51

What did you choose, because you have not told me

Susan: 27:54

The word I ended up going with is align, A-L-I-G-N. And

Whittney: 28:00

Oh!

Susan: 28:00

Yeah, actually what first kind of got me thinking about this is back in October I started going to physical therapy for a knee injury that I had sustained. It was basically an alignment issue and I've, I've always had some alignment issues just due to my body and basic biomechanics and the arches of my feet But apparently over time, somehow I had developed weakness in my hips and that was causing there to be like more pressure put on my knee. I could go way down a rabbit hole with how this all works, but basically I started going to physical therapy, spending a lot of time talking with my therapist about proper alignment, you know, getting all the muscles to work correctly so everything's in a straight line and my body's functioning correctly. My pain has now pretty much gone away. It's been magical, but that got me thinking about aligning a lot of other things in my life. Over time there might develop a weakness in one area of your life and that causes you to like overcompensate in another area or something's off kilter, right? And I started thinking about alignment of my values and I'm realizing I need to have career, relationships, my actions aligning to things I care about: my values. I think over time, maybe I started spending a lot of time doing something that doesn't really align with my values or maybe spending time with people that doesn't really align with who I am. So alignment is, I really wanna think about like body and just relationships, actions, things in my life. Are they all aligning with kind of saying what you were saying, like, what's priority for me and just my values and who I am. Like, does everything line up the way that I want it to? So it's kind of this big concept, but I think I feel good about a checkpoint for me. Like, you know, if I'm spending time doing something, does that align with who I am at my core? And in some cases I've realized that I think who I am at my core is definitely not being reflected in things that I'm doing. So it's kind of a reality check. Actually the, the next question I was gonna ask you, Whittney, is how are we planning to put these goals into place? Like, I think in the past we've realized that these words are awesome guideposts, but in order for them to be effective, we really have to have a specific plan with accountability. So I'm gonna ask you about yours, but I was just gonna say that for me, I think that I'm gonna take this goal at a micro level. like Each month setting up my plan for what I'm trying to align. So for January, I'm finishing up my physical therapy. My goal is to finish working on the alignment of my body, and then February there's gonna be a different focus. So that's my plan. What are, what are you thinking for how to make focus work for you? Big picture.

Whittney: 30:32

So really quick, for the 24 for 2024 list um, idea that Gretchen and Elizabeth initiated for us, it's something that I try to use every year. I can't remember if it's still something that works for you, but One of the things that Gretchen recommends is breaking your list into categories and so whenever you're talking to me about tiny milestones that align with alignment or align with, align your word, that's kind of what I was thinking about.'cause you're talking about right now, you're focusing on aligning your body like a physical alignment and then like maybe you'll have another theme. So I'm curious to hear if you have ideas for other themes, like is career one of the categories and then relationships?'cause I know you mentioned those specifically.

Susan: 31:18

Yes, yes. Um, career is one of them. I'm very happy with teaching, but maybe there's some different shifts that I could make. I'm just thinking about some different things I can do to make my career align with myself and other things that I value in my life. Um, but right now I'm really just focusing on body right now. I think as January winds down, I'm gonna start thinking about, well, what, what makes the most sense for my focus for February? I do find that it's really overwhelming when you think about a word for an entire year. I think things kind of get lost sometimes, and that's why I was trying to focus on a micro level, month to month. And, what you said about Elizabeth and Gretchen, which by the way, that is Elizabeth Craft and Gretchen Rubin from the Happier Podcast. I just wanted to throw out the whole name there. I highly recommend that podcast. I don't do a 24 for 24 list, which is like every year they have the same number of goals as the year we're in. Like last year was 23 for 23. I don't make 24 goals. It depends, but I just made a list of how, how many it made sense to me to have. but I think just having it by month just makes it so much more manageable for me. What makes sense for right now. For instance, I also need to align my finances right now. I'm usually very good about having a budget and keeping track of various subscriptions or where my money's going, but somewhere along the line in 2023, I just got really busy and my budget went by the wayside. So that's another thing I'm focusing on aligning in January is all my finances and creating a new budget. Just kind of tightening things up. So I dunno if I answered your

Whittney: 32:52

Also important

Susan: 32:53

questions there.

Whittney: 32:54

That was, that was perfect. So, yeah, I always do the 24 for 24 list, or last year, 23 for 23. I don't always get all of them done. Like I know I'm never going to accomplish all of them, but I do, I do it because I can focus too much on I said focus, I can focus too much on things that I should do or need to get done and not as much on fun things. And so, the list makes me think about fun things to add in there. So like, for example, one of the things that I had on my 23 for 23 list last year was come visit you in Philly. And then I did it and that was really cool. Soon as I had that on my list, I knew we had to book the

Susan: 33:36

Whittney, wait, why is that not on your list for this year? We were just talking offline. We're not sure if it's gonna happen this year.

Whittney: 33:43

I didn't make my

Susan: 33:44

I I was gonna say I didn't make the cut this year. I'm just kidding.

Whittney: 33:46

No, I don't know. Maybe you will. it's

Susan: 33:48

That would, that would be fun. We'd love to have, I say we all the time, I think, cause I'm including my sister in that.'cause she lives somewhat near to me. We would love to see you. But Yeah, no, I, have been trying to include fun things as well. Like on my January list, one of my things was to finish watching the Crown and I really want to start watching the Gilded Age. So even just as a way to focus in on what shows that I've like, kind of had on my to-be watched list forever, like, and I even said like, what book I wanted to finish this month? You know, just like these small goals. But those are things I enjoy. But it's definitely interesting how when you put a, not a deadline, but just you write something down, it does help you to accomplish it as opposed to it just like floating out in the ether So, and I'm almost done with the Crown. I have like half an episode left to go. So I, I did achieve that. But, it's definitely good having a mix of sort of the serious things and then also fun things that are going to enlighten your month or your year as well.

Whittney: 34:49

Yeah, so I think, another thing that I am thinking about, for my for focus to mix in with my 24 to 24 lists is, um, what are things last year that seemed to regularly cause me stress and how can, I focus in on those items And make them better? so is it just some advanced planning? Is there anything that I can do now that will, that future me will benefit from? Is there something I can put on autopilot to decrease stress in the coming year? and so I know one of the things that I'm going to focus on that you and I have talked about is travel. So, one of the silly things that I think sometimes. People will tell you things and you don't like absorb what they're saying until you have your own light bulb moment. And a good example of that is I recently did not think of myself as a person who travels a lot. And Susan, you were telling me like, are you kidding? Like, every time I talk to you, a, you're either traveling, coming back from travel, or getting ready for new travel. But in my mind, I was thinking, I travel a lot between the months of May and au August for work. And usually because Nate and I try to plan a family vacation in that time too. And so that time felt really intense, but the rest of my year, I would not have ever said, oh, I'm a person who travels a lot. But this is false because every time I see people, whether they are you or other friends of mine, I, this even happened in a recent conversation I was having with my coworkers while I was on work, travel with them. They were like, why do you not have TSA pre-check? You travel so much. And I'm like, I don't travel so much

Susan: 36:36

You did

Whittney: 36:37

But when you, when you think about it, I travel a minimum of four times in the summer sometimes five to six. Right. And then also my other work travel obligations, we have a a spring travel obligation and a fall obligation. So even if that's only four times in the summer, that's six. I'm up to six now. And Right. now I have two additional work trips planned.

Susan: 37:01

Great. And, and not to mention that the fact that you do live in New Hampshire away from the majority of your family and friends, you're, you have to count those trips as well. Like over the holidays you traveled to Pennsylvania to see your family in like two different places. Correct. And then you went to Longwood, so you were in like third place. And then, if you would visit me or another friend you just mentioned before, the Meeting that you had, like two other friends who have offered to have you come visit them. So when you add in those personal trips as well, it's, it's, a really good amount of traveling. And Whittney, I can't tell you the last time I've been on an airplane, so, you know, I mean, my job doesn't require traveling. If you compare yourself to the average person, it's, it's a lot,

Whittney: 37:40

Yeah. But it's, it's one of those things where I was not realizing the reality of my situation right in my head, I'm still a person who works from home and doesn't travel that much. But, and like what you're saying outside perspective is like, no, you travel a lot and why are you not doing things that would make your travel easier, that would make your whole life easier. So like, TSA pre-check, it's gonna be on my list this year because why do I not already have it? It doesn't make sense. Right.

Susan: 38:07

I think that's a great idea to reflect on something that hasn't worked in the past or what can you do to make something easier? And that's why I put out a message about looking for a cleaning person.'cause I was like, you know, the one thing that really bothered me last year was like not cleaning as much as I wanted to or spending a Saturday cleaning when I could have been doing something else. And so that's why I made that change. So it's like that the Einstein saying that if you keep doing the same thing, I think he said it, maybe it was someone else. If you keep saying or doing the same thing over and over, you can't expect a different result. So you do have to put something different in there in order to have the situation change. So good on you for noticing how much travel you actually do, and hopefully you'll get that TSA precheck.

Whittney: 38:49

Yeah, shout out to Ryan and Patrick at my work who were like, come on, TSA pre-check already.

Susan: 38:57

Yeah, Whittney. I think it helps a lot of times to quantify things like, I don't know, not everybody is sort of like a numbers person or like sort of a mathematical person. We're a little more like qualitative, but whenever you do start to put things into time, you realize how long something takes, or like how many times you travel, then you actually can realize this truth about yourself. Like, you know, even on the other end of the spectrum too, like unloading the dishwasher, it seems like this terrible feat. And then if you would time yourself, it's like two minutes. So sometimes it helps you realize that something's not that much time or that it is a lot of time. So I do things sort of quantifying things and writing it down and helping you realize, you know, how much something actually is, is a really good tip for seeing like, you know, what can you do to either make that better or is it not that big of a deal.

Whittney: 39:45

Well, and that's kind of why I hadn't done. pre-check is the last time I had looked into it, it was right around the pandemic and wait times to get in to get your fingerprints done was, was just like months and months. And so in my head I was still picturing it as a lot of work for not that return on investment, when really now it's a much simpler, easier process, and it's definitely gonna be a return on investment because I travel so

Susan: 40:10

Yeah, absolutely. Well, good on you for making that acknowledgement and working toward that change. So that sounds good for you for 2024. I'd love to transition to talking about our reading goals now for the year. So usually every year we discuss the reading goal that we've set for ourself on Goodreads and how that went and what this year looks like in terms of reading. So I guess I will throw to you first, Whittney, how did your year go last year and what's, what is your goal for this year in terms of reading?

Whittney: 40:43

So my goal for 2023 was to read 35 books. I think it's the same as I had in 2022. I didn't read 35 books. I was only at 33 at the end of the year. And for the first time ever, I didn't force myself to find two like really short reads to wrap it up and have a win. Because whenever I was looking at some of my stats, well first off I was thinking I'm tired and I just wanna relax. And so I don't wanna like force myself to hit this goal. but secondly, I was looking at my pages read in 2023 and I read 11,436 pages in 2023. I hit my goal in 2022, which was 35 books. Actually, I think I read 36 books in 2022, but I'd only read 8,059 pages. So this year, somehow I read 3,500 more pages than I read last year, which I think that's still pretty impressive.

Susan: 41:41

Yeah, the number isn't always indicative of how you're reading year when, I mean, a lot of books could be short, but they might not be that good. I mean, yeah, I think you right. Sometimes that's tough, but who knows? Is there a way to set a page goal versus a number of books goal?

Whittney: 41:58

I was wondering about that. I think that potentially we could look into that because I don't know if it's always just number of books or maybe I could just make my own personal, like, here's how many pages I'd roughly

Susan: 42:09

Yeah, that's true. It's interesting now that you say that The Goodreads really does just focus on the number of books because really you could read only a handful of books in a year, but they might be tomes, like for example, like Gone With The Wind is a huge book. You know, I don't know offhand how many pages, but something like that is obviously a way bigger time commitment than some of these sort of like fluffier bestseller books that we're seeing all the time out there, you know? Um, it sounds like you still had a really great reading year.

Whittney: 42:36

Yeah. And also some of the books that I didn't think were that long actually were quite long. like books that I was really enjoying. Like One of those beard series books that I talked about a lot in the beginning of the year, the Winston Brothers series by Penny Reid. My favorite book in that series, which was called Beard Science, 559 pages

Susan: 42:57

Oh wow.

Whittney: 42:58

That's kind of a big book. it didn't feel that long'cause it was a very entertaining read. So my average book length this past year was 346 pages, whereas in 2022 it was, let me pull it up, 223 pages. So my average book length was, a hundred pages more.

Susan: 43:18

Yeah, and, and sort of similarly with myself, I actually did hit my goal this year. Honestly, I don't remember if it was 30 or 35, but I actually ended up reading, I think like 42. But some of them were shorter ones. Like even for example, the cleaning book that I referenced earlier, that was only, you know, a few hours worth of listening, but that's still counted as a book toward the, in December, I also listened to a Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens and that that's only a few hours. So I, toward the end of the year, I did get in a lot of shorter reads that helped boost my number. But I was saying to my sister that when I look back at all the books that I read this year, a lot of them were just sort of three stars. Like they were okay. You know, I would rather read fewer really good books of value and read more because I did fall into the trap of, toward the end of the year, I was like, oh, I'm so close to getting a high number here, and I could listen to some of these short stories. And, um, Ann Bogel, who we love her podcast, what should I read next on her? Um, I think one for emails that she sent out, she had a list of like really short audio books that you can listen to in basically a day. So I listened to a couple of those toward the end of the year. And I have to say I didn't really like them that much. So yes, I sort of crammed in at the end of the year to get a higher number, but I didn't really enjoy the content. So again, I would rather focus on a better diet, to use my word from earlier, a better diet of really good quality content versus reading a lot of books.

Whittney: 44:41

What I'm hearing is that you're trying to align your reading goals with your book, number of book goals.

Susan: 44:50

Yeah, definitely. I, I just, I don't wanna read so many three star books just to get another notch on my belt, so to speak. I, I would just rather read something that's higher quality and not worry so much about the number. Um, I do enjoy that. Good Reads tracks that for me, but I'm gonna try to be a little more careful about what I'm selecting and making sure that I'm putting something good into my body to, you know, that diet of books that we talked about. So actually, I just started listening to, um, little House in The Big Woods, which is the first little house in the Prairie book. I've already listened to this book. I think my mom read it to me as a child, but my sister was recently listening to these books with her kids, and they were constantly talking about the books. And so I was like, you know what, this is a really, like, high quality, like comfort read, just really wholesome. And so I, I wanted to listen to those books this year.

Whittney: 45:42

That's a really cool goal. those were some of my favorite books growing up. Shout out to Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Susan: 45:48

Yes, And it's so cute. My niece and nephew refer to the books as Laura and Mary. They're like, we wanna listen to Laura and Mary. And, uh, anyway, just the point of I want to consume more wholesome content. Those ones are relatively shorter, I think. So, you know, I might end up getting, a good number of reads out of that series, but it's, for me, I guess what I'm saying is it's not so much about the number. I just want them to be like higher quality books. Books that are actually potentially some classics, some just really good, um, wholesome books that I can sink my teeth into and not just like the next hottest thing that's sort of an empty calorie.

Whittney: 46:24

Oh,

Susan: 46:24

Yeah, empty calorie reads. And I feel like so many of these books that you see on Bookstagram or Book Talk or whatever are just kind of like these trendy books by these like hot authors. But I gotta say, like I've read some of those books and they're kind of like okay in the moment, but they don't leave any lasting impact on me. I just feel like they do feel like empty calories. So I'm gonna try to shift away from reading what something that might seem like fun and trendy towards something that's a tried and true classic. Another example is I might like to reread Anne of Green Gables something that was just like a really high quality piece of literature that brings happiness into my life, even if it's a reread.

Whittney: 47:02

So do you have an example of something that you felt was empty calories as far as like, you know, like BookTok or

Susan: 47:10

I'd have to really pull up my list here. But I know there was something I read by, I think it was Freda McFadden, is that her name? I'm trying to pull up my list quickly here in the moment, the, It Happened One Summer book by Tessa Bailey. That one was okay.

Whittney: 47:24

I was just gonna ask

Susan: 47:25

I don't know, actually I liked the sequel. I think that was, I said I wasn't gonna read anymore by her, and then I ended up enjoying the sequel. But I guess overall it's not really like,, didn't give me a lot of caloric value. It wasn't like a health food. It was more just like fluff. Like I was sitting on the couch eating chips, kind of Never lie by Freda McFadden, that one, it was okay. I can see why people like it, but I feel like a lot of these trendy books might be for people who aren't don't wanna say this to offend anybody, but I just feel like they're just like quick fun reads, but not really for someone who values literature. I'm not a bestselling author, so I really shouldn't say anything to take away from these writers because there is something to be said for writing a book that is really fluffy and gets people interested. I don't know. I just find that, I notice that people who maybe aren't an English major or someone who considers themself a true reader, they like these fluffy books, but someone who maybe has a little bit of a higher standard isn't gonna like that kind of book. So, I don't know. Whittney, talk me outta the hole here. I feel like I'm offending people.

Whittney: 48:23

so I think it comes down to as, as an English major who Actually often prefers fluffy books, which I'll get into why in a minute. But this reminds me of just what are your priorities for reading, right? It makes me think of Anne Bogel, AKA modern Mrs. Darcy, her book personality or reading personality quiz where, you know, I think you got one of the things that you got for your result there was like, you like to learn when you read. So something that expands your horizons in some way. Maybe the comfort reads are reminding you of some nostalgia. You're not just reading to escape. Right? Whereas my result for her quiz was, I like to read for escapism. So I like to read things that aren't my every day aren't my normal, you know, scenario. So I, a lot of times the more fantastical it is, the more entertaining it is to me. And I don't think you're the same way. You tend to be drawn to more literary fiction reads where sometimes I can't, I don't have the brain space for that right now. I, I thought too hard at work today and I would like to just watch Bravo. A lot of times I want the Bravo version of a book, right? I want it light and silly and I don't always need it to be life changing, whereas I think you need your reading to be a little more

Susan: 49:37

potentially. Yeah. I just like a little more substance a something. And even if I'm learning about someone else's point of view, like a person who's not similar to me, I just felt like with some of the other books, it was just like a little too fluffy where I sort of felt like maybe I wasted my time a bit. but there is something to be said for the fun books. I even was talking to my sister and I feel like she tends to read a little book with a little more heft, a little more, even more than me, more literary value.

Whittney: 50:04

yes.

Susan: 50:04

And there were certain times where I was like, oh, that sounds great, but I don't think I could read that right now because I do just want something a little lighter. So I think it's a balance of trying to find something that's lighter and fun, but it still has substance, which is why I like Emily Henry, because I do feel like it gives off the feeling of being like, fun and fluffy, but there is depth. Um, I feel that way about Emily Giffin's books too. She hasn't had one out on a bit, but I, I also feel like, you know, they're very very, very readable, but I, I always feel like I'm really like deep diving into someone else's perspective and I always, they have a lasting impact for me.

Whittney: 50:42

I think for me, something similar is I like to read a lot of historical romance books, but there are a couple authors that really just some depth into it.'cause it's, you know, romance in general as a genre is pretty formulaic, right? Generally there's gonna be a Happily Ever After, which is something comforting I find about those books. I know it's not gonna end badly, but there are a couple authors that just kind of infuse some extra substance into that kind of formula. Examples that I can think of off the top of my head are like Tessa Dare, Courtney Milan, two of my all time favorites. Evie Dunmore, she does that as well, where it's, not just a fluff read, so it is more of the Emily Henry, Emily Giffin like substance add to the formulaic novel. And so I understand what you're saying there. I get it.

Susan: 51:33

Yes, and, and I think, like you said, I like to learn something. So even historical fiction, like Little House on the Prairie, I mean, I know it's based on real life, but a lot of it in there is fictional as Well.

Whittney: 51:43

Well, you're learning about what it was like to live on the Prairie, because laura Ingalls Wilder did actually do

Susan: 51:49

Yes, absolutely. so I do really enjoy books like that. So that's kind of where I'm coming from this year, trying to make some more, mindful choices, I guess, about what I'm taking in and not just reading anything that's like the next biggest thing. So, in a way, kind of ignoring some of the stuff I'm seeing on social media, like everyone's talking about this one book, like sometimes I, I just haven't felt that those are good recommendations for me.

Whittney: 52:12

Yeah, I mean, I, I know what you're saying too,'cause even last summer, uh, my friend Luis was saying, oh my gosh, have you heard about Fourth Wing this book that everybody's talking about? And I was like, what, what is this Fourth Wing book? Of course, you know a month or two later it was like everywhere. And I couldn't go somewhere without seeing or hearing about Fourth Wing. But, I felt that way about that one. It wasn't on my radar initially, because, I wasn't really reading a lot of that genre at the time.

Susan: 52:39

Yeah, so we'll see where this year takes us. But speaking of books, Whittney,

Whittney: 52:45

oh yes. Do you wanna do our reveal for our book club

Susan: 52:49

let's do it.

Whittney: 52:50

Um,

Susan: 52:51

Drum roll.

Whittney: 52:53

I'm announcing this book because I chose this book, so if everybody is upset about the book Choice, it's on me. It's not on Susan or Devin. I talked them into this.

Susan: 53:01

I don't get hate mail. No one's gonna be like, Whittney, how dare you select this book. I think you're good.

Whittney: 53:07

Just in case, send the hate mail directly to the person who deserves it. so we're gonna be reading and discussing a book that's actually fits with this BookTok conversation we just had, which is A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas. So this is a book that pretty much everybody I think had read before we have, or a lot of book people have read before we have has a huge cult following. This is the first book in this series and we're gonna dissect it as, as our little, you know,

Susan: 53:38

Yes. And apparently this book is what's called a romantasy. So the, the romantasy genre, it's, it's something a little bit different for us, or at least as far as what we've discussed in the past in our book club discussion. So we were excited. Devin and I were excited about taking on a different genre. So thanks for that suggestion and we'd love to hear from you, our listeners about this before we record the episode. We have some time here. You can send in any specific questions or thoughts or anything you want us to discuss in our episode. So if you're familiar with this book and have a lot to say, please send us a comment or leave us a message

Whittney: 54:12

Yes. Or even an email at susanandwhittney@gmail.com. Those are the main ways to tell us your

Susan: 54:20

Yeah, so we're excited. Devin will be on with us for the next episode, and we'll dive into a Court of Thorn and Thorns and Roses. Oh my goodness, I can't even say the title. Whittney I've been referring to it when I've been texting with Devin about, it just says A-C-O-T-R, which is the acronym

Whittney: 54:33

yeah, that's how people on the internet refer to it. For years I was probably seeing posts about it. I just wasn't recognizing that they were about this book, because that's how people refer to it on the internet

Susan: 54:45

Yeah. I'm excited to hear what our thoughts are about this. So, Whittney, it's been so great talking with you today. I'm excited that our season four is underway. I'm really looking forward to diving into this book next time with you and Devin.

Whittney: 54:58

Yes. I can't wait to hear what you both thought about it, because I'm still formulating what I think about it. So can't wait to see Suze if you and I are aligned as usual and Devin is not aligned, or I, I just keep using

Susan: 55:13

Yeah, it's a good word, right? It's good, it's tempting. It creates a nice mental image of just everything in a row in its place. I recently finished the book. I haven't shared any reactions with you yet. I did talk to my sister about it briefly this weekend, but we haven't really gotten into it, so that'll be fun when we do. So tune in next time when we talk to Devin about a court of thorn thorns and roses